just jenny from the blog

I can't hear myself think, much less write...

2012-01-25T12:44:00.000-06:00

If I had to use one word to describe our home right now it would be LOUD. We are a lot of other things, but LOUD trumps them all. Every time Duane and I try to have a conversation we get about 4 words into it, look at each other, shake our heads, roll our eyes, and say, "Nevermind." So, since I can't hear myself think long enough to write anything awesome, I thought I might just give a quick, random photo update -

Micah lost his first tooth!

We had tacos with 3 of our fave college students.

Sophia was NOT tired.

Neither was Micah.

Selah's toes felt the sand for the first time.

Noah discovered a new way to learn. Whatever.

Maybe February will bring a few quiet moments for blogging. Probably not. But maybe.

So....

2012-01-08T15:48:00.000-06:00

As I read Ephesians recently, the word "So" just kept jumping off the pages at me. So. The kind of "So" that answers the question "Why?". Here's what God's word says in Ephesians:

"God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. SO we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.... The Spirit is God's guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this SO we would praise and glorify him.... For He raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. SO God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of all his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus.... For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, SO we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

We love thinking and talking about the truth that God has adopted us, promised us an inheritance, purchased us, raised us from the dead, seated us with him, united us with Christ, created us anew and made us into his masterpieces. I mean, really? He did ALL of that for ME? It's so amazing and so humbling and even sometimes so confusing that I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in all he has done for us, we forget to ask the question, "Why?". Why has he done this for us? Why would he do this for ME? And a true and often arrived at answer would be, "Because he loves us." Yes, he loves us! Ephesians says that when he adopted us it was what he wanted to do and it gave him great pleasure! But these verses are evidence that his purposes are even greater than his desire to show us his love. Ephesians says that he has shown us this great love SO that we will praise him, glorify him, be his examples, and do the good things he planned for us long ago. Praise him. Glorify him. Be his examples. DO the good things he planned for us.

So.... it just has me thinking about how our response to his unfathomable gift of grace and love is to be so much more than gratitude. So much more than acknowledgement. So much more than awe. Our response involves praising. Our response involves glorifying. And even more overlooked than praising and glorifying, our response involves being and doing. Being and doing for the sake of earning? No, of course not. Just being and doing because He said SO....

In 2011...

2012-01-02T00:50:00.000-06:00

we played....

watched them grow up too fast...

we built...

we fell in love....

we met some extraordinary people...

we crossed the ocean and made new friends...

and cherished time with old ones...

we danced...

we wept...

we saw...

we rejoiced....

We watched God win the battle for Kirill....

and Cooper...

and Selah...

we became a family of 6...

we said hello and goodbye...

it got a little crazy at times....

but when God says, "move".... we move...

so we planted the seeds he placed in our hands...

and He grew beautiful things in 2011.

i really do have a good excuse....

2012-01-01T22:14:00.001-06:00

Oh my. It's been 2 months since I've graced the pages of this blog! I do have an excellent excuse - or rather several excellent excuses. We moved into our new home on the day before Thanksgiving! We are so happy to finally be here, but we are still in the process of getting settled and I expect that will be a true statement for months to come. Since we moved in we have celebrated 3 major holidays, traveled to Tennessee twice and Virginia once to visit with family, Duane has been to Panama (the country - not the beach), 3 of our 4 children had head lice (the biggest, grossest pain in the butt ever), Duane wrapped up another course for his Master's degree..... and these are just the highlights :). So, blogging (along with many other things) had to wait! But, I'm back and about to work on my 2011 year in pictures blog. Stay tuned....

not your typical orphan sunday plug....

2011-11-02T22:56:00.001-05:00

It's National Adoption Month. Orphan Sunday is just right around the corner. My husband will be preaching. Adoption stories will be shared. I feel certain a video will be shown. Yet rather than being completely excited about the month or the Sunday, I just have to admit that I'm a little bit nervous. Readers of this blog are fully aware that I am big on being honest and real. However, I am not big on confrontation. What does that have to do with Orphan Sunday or National Adoption Month? Let's just be real. Adoption can be, and is, a controversial and confrontational topic in our churches. Not from the pulpit, of course. And maybe confrontation isn't exactly the right word for what I feel lies beneath the surface, because it's rarely ever actually spoken aloud. Maybe tension is a better word. Another thing that I'm not big on.

Where does the tension come from? I think, in part, it comes from a misunderstanding. I'm concerned that people who haven't adopted or aren't involved in orphan care in a meaningful way perceive those of us who have adopted or are involved in orphan care to be saying something like this, "Look what we've done. Why haven't you done it, too?" When, in reality, we are really just trying to communicate something like this, "Look what God has done for us by adopting us and then leading us through our very own adoption journey so that we can better understand His love for us, see His miraculous ways of providing for us, and experience the joy that He felt when He gave us a name and a family and a home! We don't want you to miss out on this!"

There's a big difference. I think the tension comes when people mistake passion for judgement. Of course people are going to get tired of "the whole adoption thing being shoved down their throats" (yes people, that's a quote) if what they mistakenly hear from us is judgement and self righteousness. And maybe that is the intent of some. But of all the adopting families that I know, none of them have hearts like that. All of the families that I know communicate their passion for orphan care and adoption because: 1. They love orphans. and 2. They want others to experience the blessing of adoption (other families and other orphans). Period. No self righteousness. No judgement. Just genuine desire to communicate what God has done in and with their lives so that others may become open to allowing Him to do the same with their lives. And, of course, so that more children can have families.

If there's one place, one community, one group where people should be able to share their passion for orphan care, it's within the church. May we not let unspoken tension and misunderstood motives get in the way of our God's mission to bring redemption to the life of every single one of his children.

cookbooks

2011-11-02T20:52:00.003-05:00

Several people have expressed interest in ordering more cookbooks for Christmas gifts this year, so I am going to place one more print order in a week or two. We still need to pay off our travel expenses for our last trip to pick up Selah, so proceeds will still be used to cover our adoption expenses. The books are $25 each or 2 or more for $20 each. The cookbook was one of our best fundraisers, they make great gifts, and everyone seemed to really love them! It has over 300 tried and true recipes from some great cooks and even better friends :). Email me at jennydixon921@gmail.com if you would like one!

just when you're sure they're not hearing you

2011-10-29T12:57:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week some maintenance workers at our apartment were attempting to dig up some bushes with a large piece of equipment. Why they didn't just use shovels, I have no idea. Anyway.... 10 minutes into their job they hit a water line that sent water gushing from the ground for hours. We lost our water for a few hours and the boys were watching the whole thing go down as if it were playing on an IMAX screen.

As they stood on our porch, watching what they knew to be clean water flowing out into the street, they both had the same surprising reaction. "Mom! They're wasting all that water! People in Africa need clean water and all that water is just going into the street!" I quickly explained that what happened was an accident and that they were doing their best to stop the water and that they weren't intentionally wasting water.

But deep down my heart was bursting with joy. See, sometimes I feel like a clanging cymbal or a broken record. I'm constantly hearing things like, "We don't have ANYTHING good to eat." or "Can't we have something besides WATER to drink?". And I am constantly reminding my children how others live, how thankful we should be, and how we are responsible for helping those who are suffering in ways we could never imagine. And I usually feel like my children are listening and saying to themselves, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yada, yada, yada." But now I know. They're listening.

great oaks

2011-10-24T16:50:00.001-05:00

Chaos has been reigning around this place lately. So much so that one day last week I reached a breaking point and told all of the kids to stop what they were doing and meet me in the living room. Once everyone was seated, I began explaining that we simply had to get to the bottom of what was causing so much bickering and whining and yelling and anxiety in our home. Through tears (and quite honestly - slight hyperventilation) I explained to 3 wide eyed, and probably slightly terrified, children that our family was in NO way honoring God through the ways we were treating and interacting with each other. In the midst of my monologue about how something had to change and how I couldn't understand what had gotten into us, a crushing reality rushed over me like a suffocating wave. There was definitely a reason that we felt so far from God and his ways as a family. I suddenly understood all too well. It was because we actually were so far from God and his ways as a family. Hello! Slowly, but surely, we had unintentionally let birthdays and math and picking paint colors and learning to read and crafts and clothes and just about everything else push it's way in front of God in our lives. We had all but stopped communicating with God as a family. I couldn't remember the last time we sat down to read scripture together. Is it any wonder that the fruit falling from our family tree was just plain rotten?

So, this morning I decided we would begin our day in a more meaningful way than what had become the usual "hurry and up and get started on your math" way. I knew I wanted to paint fall trees with our handprints and fingerprints today, so I considered what scripture we could talk about before beginning that activity.

Immediately, Isaiah 61 came to mind. So we gathered around the table and feasted on this truth -

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
      for the Lord has anointed me
      to bring good news to the poor.
   He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
      and to proclaim that captives will be released
      and prisoners will be freed.
  He has sent me to tell those who mourn
      that the time of the Lord’s favor has come,
      and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
  To all who mourn in Israel,
      he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
   a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
      festive praise instead of despair.
   In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
      that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

We sat at the table talking about who the poor, the brokenhearted, the captives, and the prisoners were and what it meant to mourn. We talked about the fact that when we bring good news to the poor and when we comfort the brokenhearted and when we release the captives and free the prisoners..... those people will become like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory. So when we do these things, we are PLANTING GLORY for our God.

Then we watched this: (I know. It's almost 9 minutes long. Please, if nothing else, give them 9 minutes. If nothing else, at least give them the time it takes to really see what their reality is.)

Sophia stood at my side as we watched. As the camera focused in on that one precious, chocolate colored little girl with a red scarf covering her head she said with a concerned look on her face, "Mommy, is she a captive?" And all I could choke out was, "Yes baby, she is." The camera then turned to a lady who looked to be about 50, but who knows? She could've been much younger with a very tired body and a very old soul. When Sophia saw her she said, "Mommy, is she a captive?" "Yes baby, she's a captive too. She's a captive to her circumstances." Noah said in surprise, "So the famine is still going on? When is it gonna end?" I answered him honestly, "I don't know."

Here's what I do know. I know that when we bring good news to the poor and comfort the brokenhearted and release the captives and free the prisoners..... we are being used by the Creator of the Universe to help our brothers and sisters trade their ashes for beauty, their mourning for blessing, their despair for praise, and most importantly..... we are planting glory for GOD!

There are 500,000 people in this camp alone. 500,000 hungry, poor, homeless, brokenhearted, mourning captives. Prisoners to their circumstances. The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon us! We've been anointed to do the very thing that Isaiah was anointed to do for Israel. But what are we planting? Chaos? Education? Success? Entertainment? Great Outfits? Impressive Birthday Parties? Fabulous Houses? Athletic Excellence?

We've GOT to figure out how to start planting righteousness, Great Oaks, glory for God by bringing good news to the poor and comforting the brokenhearted. And for the love of God (literally), we've got to release the mourning captives wearing red scarves who are sitting in the dirt and sleeping in tents with only enough food and water to survive today. We've just got to. Great Oaks can be planted anywhere, I know. And they should be planted everywhere christians are present.

I just can't help but feel like the Horn of Africa is a field ripe for planting.

sophia's 4th birthday - ART PARTY!!

2011-10-19T21:49:00.001-05:00

My sweet Sophia is 4! We celebrated with an all girl Art Party! Some of our favorite girls of all ages painted, made cards, and decorated their own cupcakes. With the arrival of a new baby sister, Sophia has recently been knocked off her throne. It was great for her to have her very own special day!

home stretch

2011-10-19T21:16:00.000-05:00

We are very hopeful that we will move into our new home in West Circle by the end of November! There really are no words to express how ready we are to be out of the transition stage and finally see this vision be reality. My husband is working around the clock in every spare minute to get us there as quickly as possible, which means that I have been working around the clock at home with very little relief. We are both tired, traveling on nearly empty tanks and rounding the bend to weary. A fly on the wall of this apartment might even say we've just parked our car at crazy. Please keep us in your prayers over the next few weeks as we wrap things up, pack things up, and move on in to our farmhouse in the city!

3 month update!

2011-10-05T22:50:00.001-05:00

In some ways it feels like Selah can't have been with us for 3 months already! But then again I can hardly remember her not being a part of our family! This sweet girl has jumped right into the crazy life of being a Dixon and has never looked back :). She is growing like a weed (a stinkin' cute weed). She weighs at least 20 pounds and has nearly mastered walking and moved onto running! She recently got her first tooth. She says bye-bye, mama, dada, no-no and happy. She makes a wide array of hilarious faces, including but not limited to the stink face and the fish face. She waves and plays peek-a-boo. She smiles with her entire face and she does a lot of it. She's a healthy girl with the exception of some respiratory issues. We often have to do breathing treatments with a nebulizer. It could be something she will outgrow or it might be asthma. She is a great sleeper and she is a girl who knows what she wants :). She's into everything and has the greatest laugh your ears have ever heard! She. is. beautiful.

Has adding a fourth child to the mix been challenging? Of course. Have there been lots of adjustments going on around here? Absolutely. Are we financially in debt over our adoption? Um, yes. Has there been one single moment that I've looked at her precious face and thought of her as anything other than MY daughter? No. Has there been one single moment that I would prefer the money or the comfort or the ease over being able to give my sweet girl a name and a home and a family? Not one. Does my heart BREAK when I think about her birth mother or when I picture her laying in an alley in Harar as a 4 month old baby? Right in half. Does my heart LEAP when it occurs to me that God has given me the incredible honor of being the one to feed her and change her diapers and struggle through breathing treatments and comfort her as the tooth breaks the skin and moisturize her crazy curls and laugh at her silly faces? Wouldn't your heart leap at that?

Adoption is not easy. Adoption is not cheap. Easy and cheap are overrated.

THIS is where it's at!

3 down 3 to go

2011-10-03T20:45:00.000-05:00

All 6 Dixons celebrate their birthdays in September and October. Noah, Micah, and I all turned a year older last month and Duane, Sophia, and Selah are up next! Here a few more pictures from the boys celebrations:

Every year when I ask Micah what he wants to do for his birthday he says he just wants to go play at the park. That is Micah. So, on his actual birthday we went out for Mexican food, picked up a few GiGi's cupcakes and headed to the park!

big brother cole

big sister hannah

a serious game of football!

On the Friday night between the boy's birthdays (they are exactly one week apart), we had a movie night to raise money for the famine in the horn of Africa. The boys agreed to do this instead of having people bring gifts. The kids ate too much candy and flavored popcorn while the adults watched football and chatted. They raised almost $150 dollars and when donated through World Vision it will be multiplied 5 times!

Then, finally, on Noah's actual birthday he requested to stay home and eat his favorite dinner have a cake made by mom :). It was rainy day, so that worked out just fine! It's hard to believe that my boys are 11 and 6!

noah and micah's tennessee birthday

2011-09-25T21:54:00.001-05:00

please don't let the word get back to Andy Boykin that they asked for a baseball cake!

my sweet sister and baby wyatt

cousins and the best of friends

silly me forgot to hire the birthday backhoe driver. thankfully uncle brian had one on the back of his truck. whew.

orange moustaches all around!

right after this picture, micah hit a ball into the second story gutter of mom and dad's house.

ok, i know this is totally disgusting but i just can't help it. it was the hardest i had laughed in a while and for some strange reason i want to remember it. sorry sister.

i got it! i got it!

11 months

2011-09-25T21:30:00.002-05:00

I'm planning to do a 3 month update post on Selah in a few days....

but until then here are some of her latest sweet pics!

with her Grandy

with Brette.... the sweet daughter of my dear friend Evette that Selah is named after. this picture is a treasure.

cousins

2011-09-19T22:14:00.001-05:00

because I asked the Lord for him

2011-09-13T15:16:00.002-05:00

She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the LORD for him.” - 1 Samuel 1:20

Today, in the midst of the squabbles and messes and incessant whining, I stole away to find a moment alone. As soon as that moment was found, I instantly dropped to my knees and let the tears flow. But, despite what you may be thinking, these weren't the usual tears of a frustrated mom at the end of her rope. These were the tears of a mother who was suddenly and unexpectedly overcome with gratitude and completely humbled by the faithfulness and love of her God. They were the tears of a mother who had been given a miracle 6 years ago today. Today, I found myself on my face before the Lord - because that's the only place to go to praise Him for lifting the head of this face-to-the ground woman from 7 years ago.

They call it "secondary infertility". And while I KNOW that it can't be as heart wrenching as complete infertility, it was by far the most difficult 2 years of my life. I know that sounds dramatic and it doesn't really even make sense to me now, but all I can say is that when a mother's arms ache for another child and that child does not come, it can shake her to the very core.

We saw the "experts". They told us that it was a miracle we even had one child. I suffered from polycystic ovarian syndrome. That combined with other issues caused the "experts" to advise us that without intervention it was highly unlikely that we would ever conceive another child. I was devastated. Yet, I walked out of our appointment with the experts with an inexplicable peace that fertility treatments would not be the route for us and with a quiet voice whispering in my head that they weren't really the experts. Duane and I didn't even have to hash it out. We agreed that it was a fine option, just not for us. My uber practical self said that if I was going to spend $10,000, it would be toward adoption expenses. And if I'm being honest, I knew that I could never handle the ups and downs and disappointments of fertility treatment with it's less than favorable odds. So I contacted every adoption agency under the sun and poured over each package that came in the mail. I prayed and read and googled and I never could feel led down a specific adoption path. In the meantime, I finally found myself in a place where I could honestly say to God, "If carrying another child is not what you grant me, then you must have something so much better in mind for me. And I want what YOU want more than I want what I want." Of course I still hoped that God's answer was wait, rather than no. So many prayers were lifted up on our behalf. So many gathered around us and covered us with their loving hands and prayed that we would be blessed with another child.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.

- Isaiah 58

6 years ago today God placed in my life a daily reminder of His faithfulness. A daily reminder of His sovereignty. A daily reminder of His perfect time. And yes, a daily reminder of His sense of humor. There have been days that I needed to be able to remind myself that I laid on my face and prayed for this child :).

2 years later we welcomed Sophia to the family. So much for the experts. And through it all, God turned our hearts toward adoption - enter Selah.

Today, I am thanking Him for this spunky, funny, mischievous, handsome, bright, stubborn, explosive, hard working, tight hugging little boy. Today, I am thanking Him for this precious face.

And there's really no better place for me to do that than on mine.

Happy Birthday Micah Samuel Dixon!

our first pinterest inspired project :)

2011-08-23T16:33:00.002-05:00

Play Dough!

Our recipe came from here!

Family Photos

2011-08-18T13:41:00.001-05:00

Our friend and fellow adopting mom, April Hollingsworth, took some pictures of our family of 6 this week - featuring our newest member :).

Check them out on her website - http://aprilrainphotography.com/http:/the-dixon-family-featuring-selah/ !

they can't kill me if i'm already dead

2011-08-14T21:58:00.000-05:00

I should've died on October 12th, 1989. But when you're 12 years old, you don't fully understand what it means to die. And you certainly don't understand what it means to choose to die... daily. Does that mean that I was too young or uninformed to do what I did that day? Was I not ready to make the decision to follow Christ? I don't think it means that at all. But it does mean that 21 years later I am still dying a slow, slow, painful death.

My open ended obituary would read a little bit like this:

Jenny Elizabeth Dixon

(1977 - )

Jenny Elizabeth Dixon died a little bit when she chose to follow Christ in 1989. She died a little more when she said "I do" to her amazing husband on May 24th, 1997 - making her a wife. She died further in September of 2000 when she gave birth to her first son, Noah - making her a mother. She died a little more when she gave birth to Micah 5 years later. And still more when her first daughter, Sophia, came along. Her most recent experience with death occurred when she added precious little Selah to her family in June of 2011.

You may be thinking I have an awfully grim attitude about what I should consider to be the 6 happiest days of my life. And were they ever happy days! Each occasion brought extreme joy, but each of these occasions also brought necessary death. Of course it's the kind of death that I'm grateful for, but no kind of death is ever easy.

Being a wife and a mom to 4 incredible kids is certainly not what I would call easy. It's wonderful, a privilege, a blessing.... but not easy. But do you know what makes it even tougher? Trying to do it alive.

These are the thoughts that run through my mind during a typical day:

"These people are killing me."

"I'm dying here!"

and on my most defeated of days - "Somebody please shoot me."

I don't know who I'm talking to when I utter these ~~and other~~ things under my breath, but a few days ago I felt I was actually receiving a reply. It was as if a chuckling voice from heaven said, "You know, they couldn't kill you if you were already dead."

And I just can't stop thinking about this. All this time I've thought my kids were killing me, but could it be that what's really killing me is the fact that I refuse to die? Because aren't the things about my kids that nearly "kill" me really about ME. Because waking up to a baby laying in poop up to her neck is not the first thing that I want to see or smell in the morning. Because listening to a 3 year old whining ALL DAY LONG hurts my ears and gets on my nerves. And because I don't have time to wait on a 5 year old who is staging a sit-in to protest the putting on of clothes because it's gonna make me late. Because the fact that my 10 year old still has to be reminded of the most basic manners and rules of life makes me feel like I went wrong somewhere and I don't like feeling like a failure..... This is obviously the short list.

These things couldn't kill me if I were already dead.

He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. 2 Corinthians 5:15

Isn't it my sin of selfishness and my failure to really die that gives me that "I'm dying here" feeling?

For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. Romans 6:7-8

Mothers of young children get lots of advice about how we need to make time for ourselves, have a hobby, get a pedicure, have a girls night out, get away for a weekend, take a break, etc.... And these are all great ideas. I've done them all and I don't regret it for a second :). But no one has ever given me this advice:

"You know, you should really just go ahead and die. You will find so much more joy in being a mother and a wife if you just go ahead and die to yourself and focus on being Christ to your family. Stop wasting your energy wishing you could get more sleep, eat a meal in peace, and pee without an audience. Stop being bitter about the fact that you don't get half the respect or appreciation you deserve and just find joy in the serving. Stop counting down the hours until bedtime so that you can resuscitate yourself. Just do yourself a favor and go ahead and die."

That's what I think I need to hear. Because I don't have to be reminded of the other things. My selfish nature will always be screaming for the breaks and the nights out and the "me time". And I will take and appreciate the breaks when they're available. (I'm actually currently accepting pedicure gift certificates.) I just can't help but feeling that even though I don't think it's wrong at all for me have some "time to myself", I sure would love to be so dead that I didn't even need it.

I guess it's fear that keeps me from being willing to die. Because isn't this death to self in many ways so much scarier than physical death? And isn't it because we're asked to LIVE this death? Do I avoid this death because I've failed to remember that the same truth that keeps me from fearing physical death should also give me peace about this living death to self?

For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. Colossians 3:3-4

I will share in Christ's glory? Really? I know that's worth dying for. So why is it so hard?

Yes, my desire is to eventually have all poop contained in toilets. My goal is to teach Sophia that whining is an ineffective method of communication. I certainly hope I can teach Micah that appropriate clothing is a necessary part of life. I pray that Noah leaves our home knowing how to love and treat others. But this I know: Jesus working through my death to self and his resulting life in me will accomplish these and all things so much better than I ever could accomplish them on my own. So... I will continue striving for death. And besides, there's no way I'm giving my kids the satisfaction of doing me in :).

Progress, Setbacks, and the Holy Spirit

2011-08-02T22:38:00.002-05:00

Our house in West Circle has come a long way since my last post about it! We now have siding, doors, porches, plumbing, hvac, and wiring. Well, we did have wiring. Two nights ago (before Duane installed the doors) somebody, or somebodies, ripped the wiring right out and helped themselves to it. And you know what, I don't. even. care.

Wanna know why?

Because I have a hard time being upset about stolen wiring or the money that it's gonna take to replace it or the extra time in this apartment because of the amount of time it will set us back.

Wanna know why?

Picture this: It's the evening after we found out about the wiring being stolen. Our family is sitting at the dinner table. Sophia says a short prayer and Duane picks up where she leaves off. My husband then proceeds to pray for the people who stole from us. And I know what you're thinking, but he didn't pray that God would convict them or even forgive them. Some really unfortunately misled people might even be imagining that he prayed God would punish them or teach them a lesson or see to it that "justice" is served. Yikes. But no. None of that. My husband slowly, thoughtfully, sincerely prayed that God would bless them. He prayed that God would bless them in such a way that they would no longer feel the need to steal from others to have what they need. I'm terribly ashamed to say that it caught me slightly off guard. My thoughts weren't going in that direction. It's not that I was fired up or angry. I really just wasn't giving it that much thought at all.

I can tell you that he really meant it and truly desires that God would bless the people who stole from us. And it's not because I'm married to a saint (although he's pretty dang close). It is because he knows it's what God wants for them, and my husband is a Spirit-filled follower of Christ. He takes verses like Matthew 5:44 - But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you - and Luke 6:28 - bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you - seriously. He believes that when Jesus said you should love and pray for your enemies and those who mistreat you..... he actually wanted us to love and pray for our enemies and those who mistreat us. So that's what he does.

How in the world can a girl get worked up over lost wiring, money, or progress when God has given her a man like that to walk through life with? She can't. I can't.

how can this be?

2011-07-29T22:59:00.007-05:00

I finally got all the kids settled in bed after a long day with daddy away and fevers of 101 degrees. Ahhh. I took a deep breath and sat down at the computer with my peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich for dinner. I thought I might just stumble around on here a while as I ate. You know, just unwind after my trying day. I sat, eating my sandwich and washing it down with my bottled spring water. It was only a matter of seconds before I stumbled upon this photo....

and this one...

and a part of me wanted to keep eating my sandwich and look away. But then there were these...

...and then the food became stuck in my throat. It's hard to swallow when you're sobbing.

The tears won't stop flowing. How can this be? I'm serious. HOW CAN THIS BE?! These aren't just photos. These are people. I'm fretting over the fact that my pants are growing tighter and tighter as these people - these precious people I've come to love - these precious people from my daughter's country - die.

I throw away food everyday. They are dying. Everyday.

I am completely and utterly distraught. Really. Not only by these images, but by the images that surround me everyday. The images that surround me in my country, in my town, in my home, in my church, in MY world. My world. My life. See, I am wealthier than 99 percent of the world. Did you know that if you make $50,000 per year you are wealthier than 99 percent of the world? Yet how many times have I flippantly uttered the words that we are "broke". Or claimed that I couldn't "afford" to give anymore right now? Did you know that 93 percent of the world's people don't own a car? I have 2.

Richard Stearns says in his book, The Hole in Our Gospel, that "we don't believe we are wealthy, so we don't see it as our responsibility to help the poor. We are deceived." I hate being deceived.

Look at that first photo again and tell me if these numbers don't make you uncomfortable:

Americans spend $705 billion a year on entertainment and recreation, $65 billion on jewelry, $31 billion on pets, and $13 billion on cosmetic surgery. Not Millions. Billions.

Do you know what it would cost to bring basic health and nutrition to everyone in the world?

$13 billion. Yep. Just $13 of those $814 I just mentioned.

Here's what I know deep inside of me.

The bones of that 7 month old baby are not visible because of a lack of resources in our world -

famine or no famine.

That 7 month old baby weighs 7 1/2 pounds because of me.

You might think that sounds harsh or even ridiculous. The truth is harsh and often even ridiculous. The even harder thing to say is this: That baby is starving because of my sin. Ezekiel wrote that Sodom's sin was that she was "arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." Maybe you would be appalled at anyone suggesting that you are arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned.

I am quite ashamedly all three. This is why I sob.

It is so very easy here on our American island to forget that we are a part of a GREAT BIG WORLD. Americans make up less than 5 % of the world's population. How did we become so arrogant?

The fact is, we are all connected. What I have is something that someone else doesn't have. Period.

Nearly 9 million people a year die from hunger or hunger related causes.
I can often be heard whining about my pudgy waist.

Disgusting.

Nobody likes being deceived. World Hunger is often presented as a problem with no real solution. I think that's a lie. Maybe I'm crazy, but is it possible that a good start to the solution would be for those of us who are overfed and unconcerned to become concerned and start eating less? I'm not trying to be funny. I'm serious. We have so complicated things that we can't see what is right in front of our faces. $13 billion dollars. It's estimated that the total income of American churchgoers is $5.2 trillion. And again the tears flow.

Changes are coming to this house. I wonder how much money we could save and therefore share if we limited ourselves to dessert only once a week? If we shared more meals in restaurants? If we just cooked less and ate smaller portions? It sounds so incredibly ridiculous even as I type it. That's not even a sacrifice! We eat dessert pretty much every day. While people die. I'm tired of pretending that's not a problem.

For the record, I am not suggesting that we shouldn't be able to enjoy our food. I am merely suggesting we need to stop enjoying more than our share of it. The truth is, I love to cook and I love to eat. I know that for many people it's a gift and for many an art. Sharing a meal at a table with family and friends brings us all great joy. I have no intention of drowning in guilt every time I put a bite of food in my mouth. I will thank God for what he has given me... but I will also acknowledge the great responsibility he placed upon me - the wealthiest 1 percent. I intend to stop thanking Him for how richly he has blessed my family while simply pitying those He hasn't chosen to bless as richly as me. That's just another lie. I don't believe He withheld his blessing from the 9 million who died last year. I believe he entrusted it to us and we withheld it.

We scold our children when they behave selfishly and refuse to share. This passage in James 5 sounds a little bit "scoldish" to me....

Listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days... You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.

Am I just crazy, or is it really just not that complicated?

Photos taken from this article: http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/07/famine-in-east-africa/100115/

Statistics taken from The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns.

lovin' every minute of it

2011-07-21T22:12:00.001-05:00

Wondering how Selah's doing now that we're home? You know what they say about a picture being worth more than a thousand words......

shout it from the rooftops

2011-07-15T22:12:00.000-05:00

from the roof of our guesthouse

entoto mountain

2011-07-15T21:57:00.000-05:00

We dressed Selah up in her traditional Ethiopian dress for a photo session :).

This is the site of the oldest church in Ethiopia. This building is newer, but we were able to see the older one. Not sure why I didn't get a picture. I guess I was too busy taking pictures of Selah!

When we stopped to take a picture of the view from the mountain, these boys came to our window asking for food. It's like that everywhere in Addis. Young mothers with babies, young boys and young girls trying to beg or sell you a pack of gum to make money. Even though it's so common, there are a few faces that I will never forget.

the coffee factory

2011-07-15T00:08:00.000-05:00

our friends, Yonas and Dawit

bet you don't think about this when you drink your morning joe.... i know i never did. it really makes me think about how many hands have touched every little thing that brings me my daily conveniences and what those people's lives are like... but that's another blog post!

gratitude

2011-07-14T23:13:00.001-05:00

We are so thankful for all of the amazing women who took such great care of our baby girl while she waited for us. The women who work at AWAA's transition home truly love the kids there and prepare them to go home with their families. What an eternally important job they have! And they do it so well. She came to us as healthy and happy as we could've possibly hoped for.

korah

2011-07-08T15:02:00.002-05:00

I don't really even know how to start this post. We had the opportunity to visit a part of Addis called Korah or Kore. You know the commercials on television where they show the children who are dirty and wearing ragged clothing and covered in flies? Have you ever been tempted to wonder if it was a reality or just a tactic to tug at your heartstrings so that you'll send money?

It's real.

Korah is located at the edge of a city dump.

It has also previously been the location of a leper colony. It's a place of extreme poverty.

We had the privilege of meeting Jerry and Christy Shannon while in Korah.

Jerry and Christy came to Ethiopia several years ago to adopt their daughter. A couple of years ago they came back to live among the poorest of the poor in Korah. They have opened a child care center where mothers can bring their children so that they can work without having to wear them on their backs. The Shannon's depend on God providing the funds they need to run this daycare through family sponsorships. It works much like World Vision or Compassion International. They are currently turning away around 10 mothers and children a week. After they find sponsors for all 30 of their current children, they will be able to add 20 more.

Being there and seeing the level of poverty has the ability to leave you with a sense of overwhelming hopelessness. But that's not the effect God intends for it to have, I know. That's why it's so great to know a specific way that we can be Christ to the people of Korah. The Shannon's are his physical presence there. Can you support them by committing to one of these children?

Please visit the Embracing Hope Ethiopia website. It's something you can do. I am also packing a bag to send to the childcare center in a week or so. They need size 12 month - 3T clothing and infant vitamin drops. If you would like to help fill the bag, please let me know! I am sending it with the Dreyfus family who will be leaving soon!

Our friends, Evan and Stacey Snyder, are sponsoring Firtuna. Firtuna has Down Syndrome and a heart defect that needs surgery. You can read about her here.

Noah with 2 of the Shannon children.

We also had the opportunity to visit some ladies who make jewelry for Mission Ethiopia. It was a very humbling experience to sit and listen to these ladies brag on God and how He was providing for them through this opportunity. The opportunity that they speak of is a chance to sit in a circle in a dark, concrete room sanding or rolling bead hour after hour just so that they can afford to put enough food on the table. But in their world, they are among the fortunate. And Mission Ethiopia has provided them with the opportunity to provide for their family. Some of the women were getting food and clothing from the dump before this opportunity came along. Their necklaces are beautiful and they are so proud of their work.

I'm still processing all that I saw in Korah and praying that God continues to open my eyes and my heart.

we're baaaack!

2011-07-08T10:24:00.000-05:00

After a shorter than expected wait, we received the call on Monday morning, June 27th, that we had been cleared by the US Embassy to return to Ethiopia and bring our sweet Selah home! We were elated and began preparing to leave for Ethiopia as soon as possible. We headed out from Nashville the following Saturday and arrived in Ethiopia bright and early Monday morning. After dropping our luggage off at the guest house and grabbing some lunch, we headed to the Transition Home to get our girl and welcome her into our arms.... for forever this time. It was as if she had been waiting for us. We picked her up and she jumped right into our family with laughs and smiles and cries that seemed as familiar as if she had spent her first 8 months with us. Within a day, she was crying when I left the room and lighting up when she saw me. I am her mother. She knows it in her heart. I know it in mine. I've never been more convinced that adoption is a supernatural process. Here are a couple of pictures from her first bath :). She had only been with us for a couple of hours. Look how happy she is!!

And just like that..... I'm a mother of 4!!

whirlwind

2011-07-08T10:03:00.002-05:00

The month between our trips to Africa flew by in a whirlwind. It didn't really hit me until we were on our way home from the first trip that I was going to be bringing a baby home soon! When we returned I began preparing for our little girl to join our family. Duane worked frantically on our house so that some things could happen while we were gone (like getting a roof - hooray!). But even more exciting than all of that, we welcomed Kirill home!!!!!!!!

I hope Kirill is ready to have these crazy peeps for neighbors!

Sophia tried her first piece of gum on the way to the airport. She swallowed it within 5 seconds.

Amber and Lindsey were a little bit nervous about whether or not Kirill would like them.

So happy to see daddy!

I can't think of anyone who inspires me more than these people. Satan threw every fiery dart imaginable at them to keep this precious boy from having a family, but they did not fall. They couldn't have done it for themselves. They couldn't have even done it for Kirill. They did it for Christ, and check out what Christ's love has already done for Kirill on Tesney's blog!

We also had a visit from Grandmom and Grandad just before we left for our trip. The kids had a great time showing them around Tuscaloosa and hearing all of Grandad's exciting stories about hunting in Africa!

Up next..... ETHIOPIA!

tanzania

2011-06-10T14:29:00.001-05:00

We had a great time visiting our friends, Carson and Holly, in Tanzania! This is a finger of Lake Victoria that we crossed to go their town of Geita.

Our first lunch in Tanzania. We hadn't seen Jude since he was a tiny baby!

Our first morning at Carson and Holly's house, Holly let me join her on her morning walk through their neighborhood. I met some lovely ladies!

This is a church building close to their house. The mountains were absolutely beautiful!

This was a tradition Tanzanian lunch that Elizabeth made us! It was SOOO good!

We were at Carson and Holly's house when we got word that we had passed court!!!

Who knew that Chinese food in Africa would be so good?

Getting ready to leave :(. We'll see Carson and Holly again next fall. We're so proud of what they are doing in Geita. I wish that everyone could go visit them and see it for themselves.

A squatty potty. These are very popular in Tanzania. This one was at the airport. You should've seen the airport......

Mt. Kilamanjaro from the plane window.

Headed back to Ethiopia, but we won't get to see our girl. Gotta hop back on a plane to DC.

We're saying "Rome". Our plane stopped in Rome for fuel, but we didn't even get to get off the plane.

What an adventure we had! Now..... time to prepare to bring a baby home!

May 30th - not my favorite day

2011-06-08T15:46:00.000-05:00

Monday was an emotional day to say the least. We started the day by going to court. The court room is on the 5th floor of the courthouse. There are no stairs and Addis is already at a very high altitude. This combined with the fact that it was 100 degrees in there and there was no air flowing and I was too anxious to eat much breakfast equaled a very faint me. If you know me, you know that I faint. I just do. And that morning, I could feel all the symptoms coming on. Thankfully, Yonas went to get me some water and Liz saved my life with her granola bar :). When we finally got to enter the courtroom (it was more like a really messy office), we were sad to hear that our MOWA letter was not there and we did not pass court. None of the 3 families we were with passed that day.

This is us on our way to court:

This is us at lunch after we didn't pass:

Thankfully, our agency told us that our letter should be there on Wednesday and it was. 2 days isn't too long to wait. After lunch we headed to the transition home for what would be our last visit with Selah since we were boarding a plane for Tanzania that night.

Selah's bottle... this is her name in Amharic.

Already loving her daddy's shoulder :).

Our last nap together :(.

Me, Liz, and our girls :).

Our travel group

Me forcing a smile. It's almost time to go.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

So thankful for God's gift of friends.

We had one last hoorah at the Zebra grill with the Pfeifers and the Browns. This is Duane savoring the last bite of the best ice cream in the world!

Taking off in the plane was even harder than leaving the transition home. We are praying we will be back to get her in a month or less! This is it for our Ethiopia adventure. Now on to Tanzania!!

May 29th

2011-06-08T14:19:00.001-05:00

Sunday was a busy day! We started the day by attending services at the International Church in Ethiopia. That experience warrants a whole other blog post, so for now I will just post this picture of us with our friends, Brian and Liz. We were so blessed to be able to get to know this precious couple and share a suite with them in our guest house. By the end of our trip I was almost as sad to leave them as I was to leave Selah... almost.

After church it was on to Island Breeze for lunch.

This is just a cool trick that Dawit did at lunch :).

Then came the best part of every day... visiting with our baby!

She had a play date with her daddy.

The Dixon's and the Pfeifers! When this photo was taken, both of these precious girls were still orphans. As of yesterday when the Pfeifers passed court, they are Selah Evette Selam Dixon and Jordis Rain Adaye Pfeifer! How cool is that?

Have I mentioned how much we love Yonas?!

We ended the day by attending a traditional Ethiopian dinner. It was so much fun! Duane wasn't crazy about the food, but the entertainment was amazing. I think the dancers like to pick on the white people because they know we can't dance. They pulled me up on stage twice and Duane once. The saying among the families adopting and attending this dinner is "what happens in Addis, stays in Addis".

This guy had nothing on Duane :).

Even Yonas got to dance.

These guys love to laugh.

May 28th

2011-06-08T08:35:00.000-05:00

Taking another nap on her mommy.

The laundry at the Transition House. I'm telling you, they are some good women. Can you imagine?

Selah and Yonas.

Another one of Selah's amazing nannies.

Duane with his new BFF's, Yonas and David (Dawit)! We just love these guys!

May 27th

2011-06-07T13:12:00.001-05:00

Our second day in Ethiopia we visited Selah in the morning. She was so much more relaxed and comfortable with us. We got to talk with the Dr. who has been taking care of her. She has no major concerns. In the afternoon we visited a couple of the orphanages that our agency supports and finds families for their children. We were able to take our donations and pass out goodies to the kids there.

One of Selah's many precious nannies. We are so thankful for these ladies who work so hard to care for our baby while we can't. They seem to truly love the kids.

Selah's doctor and nurse.

I changed Selah's clothes to take some pictures and just couldn't resist a few naked shots :).

This is one of the orphanages that we visited. The children were having school when we arrived. They sang us several songs in English. It was so cute. Thankfully we were able to walk through knowing that most of the face we were seeing had families that they were waiting for. Praise God for his plan of adoption!

This was the other orphanage we visited. This sweet boy was trying to mow the lawn to no avail. The lady in the background was on her hands and knees cutting the grass... with a knife.

We ended the day at the Zebra Grill with several other families.

the streets of Addis

2011-06-07T06:51:00.000-05:00

Addis Ababa, Ethiopia was much different than I expected. It is a city of 5 million. Most of the roads are made of mud. There is no "good part of town" and "bad part of town". The whole city is made up of some who have, and many who don't. The streets are filled with animals, beggars, crippled people, and well dressed business people. Children beg to clean your shoes or sell you gum. I won't be able to forget the faces of the young mothers who would approach our van with their babies begging for food. Sometimes we could give them something and other times the police officers would "shoo" them away from our van. But despite all of it's poverty, it is a beautiful place. The people make it beautiful. Not only are they a physically beautiful people, but Ethiopians have such a peaceful and gracious spirit. These are some pictures I took from the window of our van.

This one is for you, Christie Breedlove :).

Duane never could get over this scaffolding.

They had their Independence Day while we were there. We saw lots of floats like this one.

This is a typical street.

A soccer game.

This beautiful little boy was running after our van yelling "Chocolate". At first thought I thought it was that voice inside my head :). He was so excited to have the chocolate covered granola bar I gave him.

I can't wait to go back to Ethiopia with all of it's poverty and beauty and grace. I'm praying that God will show me how I can make a difference in the life of more than one of these beautiful children.

May 26th - part 3 - our first visit!

2011-06-07T06:08:00.001-05:00

We got to feed her something everyday we visited.

She loved making this face.

"This lady is nuts."

She seemed to be such a content baby.

It was a great first day with our sweet girl! I can't wait to kiss those cheeks everyday!

May 26th - part 2 - the sweetest moment

2011-06-06T14:59:00.000-05:00

As we pulled up to the transition home I had so many emotions and questions! Would she cry? Would I cry? Would she look like her pictures? Would I instantly love her or would it take time?

The first time we laid eyes on our little Ethiopian princess!

She didn't cry!

I did.

Right about now she's thinking, "Who are these white people?"

I totally hogged her, but Duane knew I would.

She was bigger than I expected and bald :). They had to shave her head because of a scalp infection. I'm just glad they take such good care of her. I mean seriously.... look at those cheeks.

And as for that last question...... I instantly loved her.

May 26th - part 1

2011-06-06T14:10:00.002-05:00

When we arrived in Ethiopia it was around midnight to us, but there it was around 8:00 am, so we had begin a day when ours should've been ending. Yonas, our guide turned friend :), picked us up at the airport and took us to our guest house. Thankfully we had a chance to take a shower before heading out to meet the rest of our group for lunch. We didn't sleep on the 13 hour flight over, so we were exhausted. The only thing that could've kept me awake that day was the anticipation of kissing my baby girl for the first time! Here are some of the interesting things we saw on our way in!

Our huge plane.

On our way to the guest house.

All of the mannequins in Ethiopia are white and bald. I have no idea why.

This is our guest house. It was very nice - much more comfortable than I anticipated.

The view from our balcony in the guest house.

Our first meal in Ethiopia. We had pizza :). We were too tired to even consider trying something new!

Next stop..... SELAH!

let the blogging begin - May 24th and 25th

2011-06-06T13:58:00.000-05:00

On May 24th, our 14th wedding anniversary, we set out on a journey that has been 2 years in the making. It hardly seemed real that we were actually on our way to meet our precious daughter!

Here we are getting ready for the first of 10 flights in 12 days!

At the DC airport with our luggage. We each had one suitcase, plus we had a 50 pound bag of donations for the orphanages and a 50 pound bag of goodies for our friends in Tanzania.

We got to spend the night in DC because our flight was early the next day. We took advantage of the night and had an anniversary dinner and some Starbucks!

In the DC airport waiting for our flight to ETHIOPIA!!!

Ready or not Selah, here we come!!!

Ethiopia or Bust

2011-05-23T13:28:00.000-05:00

Well, tomorrow is the big day! On our 14th Anniversary we will head to Ethiopia to meet our sweet Selah! Please keep us in your prayers as we travel over the next couple of weeks. We specifically ask for prayers that we will pass court on our first try and that we will be able to bring Selah home this summer! Thanks to all who have played a part in making this journey possible for us through your support and your prayers. There will be one less child without a family because you let God use you!

a big weekend for micah

2011-05-23T13:17:00.000-05:00

Micah finished up his baseball season AND graduated from preschool this weekend! I can't believe we have a kindergartener and a 5th grader now!

bring on the second floor!

2011-05-19T10:43:00.000-05:00

just gotta be honest

2011-05-18T11:09:00.000-05:00

My name is Jenny Dixon, and I struggle with stubborn independence.

As Americans, and maybe even just as humans, most of us don't like admitting that we need help. Most of us do everything we can to be completely self sufficient so that we never have to ask for it. And if we can't be completely self sufficient, we go out of our way to make sure others at least think we are. Admitting that we need help sometimes exposes our weaknesses, and we would prefer that people not know we have any of those.

Our journey over the last couple of years has forced me to do away with this silly notion. If you know me very well, you've witnessed my life long struggle with stubborn independence (you can stop laughing now mom). God in his goodness is slowly helping me chip away at my wall of independence, and I find myself being extremely blessed by each new hole in the wall. See, He never created us to be self sufficient. We made that up all by ourselves.

There are 2 reasons this is on my heart this morning.

1. As we approach our first trip to Ethiopia (6 days!!!), I can't help but be overwhelmed with gratitude. SO many people have contributed in small and huge ways to make it possible for us to add Selah to our family. The number is so overwhelming that it would be impossible to thank everyone personally. When it's all said and done, there will have been hundreds of people who played a part in placing one adorable little girl into one crazy family. Is that not incredible? We've received checks from strangers, cash from 2 sweet boys that had been saving up, Kenny Chesney tickets to auction, multiple checks from my dear friend who is a single mom of 3, money from friends who were in the midst of their own adoption, money from Micah's friend's birthday party where the gifts were donations to our adoption fund, and the list goes on and on.

side note: If adoption is on your heart, don't let stubborn independence stand in the way.

2. We still need help. Even with all of my progress, my stomach still hurts a little bit when I type that :). There was a time when we felt pretty good about where we were financially with the adoption, even with the addition of an unexpected second trip. Between our own savings, the sale of our house, and what people had contributed through our fundraising, my photography, etsy site, and cookbook sales, we felt like it was pretty well covered. But, as the building of our home in West Circle has FINALLY gotten underway, we've had to use more of our savings on the front end of that than we expected. (Some of you may think I'm divulging way too much personal information on a blog, but I did say that I was just gonna be honest). Because these new developments with our house created a new financial need for our adoption, some of our good friends had begun planning a benefit dinner/silent auction for us and the Davis family. The tickets were designed, the location was decided, donations for the auction had been made........and then a tornado swept through and devastated our town on April 27th. After that, it felt a little silly to try to rally people around a fundraiser for 2 families in a town where hundreds had just lost everything. And so, we are left needing several thousand more dollars to complete our adoption. There. I said it. Let me also say that we are not worried about this. God has been faithful through every step of this process.

I know what some of you are thinking. You're thinking that it's completely distasteful to straight up ask people for money. You're thinking that we should not have started two "projects" that we couldn't "afford". You're thinking that was a little reckless. And believe me, I understand. The same thoughts try to go through my own head. But as a recovering stubbornly independent person, I have learned to take those thoughts captive. That's why I made a conscience decision this morning to lay my pride down and just admit that we need help. If you could see the face of the 6 month old ethiopian princess that is waiting for us on the other side of the world, I think you would be willing to be "distasteful" too, if it meant finally bringing her home. And if you could see the faces of the people in West Circle, you might understand the "recklessness" in our willingness to move there in an attempt to be Christ in that neighborhood. And if you were "recovering" like I am and being blessed by the holes in your wall of independence, you would understand a little more how I could dare to be so open about our situation.

So, we are auctioning 2 Kenny Chesney tickets for the May 25th concert in Tuscaloosa. Every $10 donation gets your name in the drawing one time. Entering the drawing is one way you can help. I'm still selling cookbooks, taking pictures, and creating custom invitations. We've gratefully accepted a lot of gifts, but we've also worked very hard to bring our baby home.

Thankfully we do foresee a time in our not so distant future that we will be able to be the people doing the blessing. Right now, we are the recipients of the blessings, and please know that we are so very thankful.

My encouragement to you today - don't be afraid to ask for help. I'm sure my husband is laughing as he reads this. If I had a dollar for every time he's said that to me, we wouldn't need another dime for the adoption :). But the freedom and humility that come from being willing to admit that you're not self sufficient are worth the painful steps it takes to get to that place. Just gotta be honest.

here.we.go!

2011-05-17T09:28:00.000-05:00

The walls are going up! By the end of the week we should have stairs and a second floor.

And we leave for Ethiopia one week from today! Gonna be a wild and crazy summer for the Dixons!

playing catch up

2011-05-14T21:14:00.002-05:00

It hasn't been all that long since I posted, but so much has happened in one month!

1. We received our court date for our adoption of Selah! We will be boarding a plane on May 24th (our 14th anniversary) and begin the journey to Ethiopia. We will meet Selah for the first time on May 26th and have our court date on May 30th. She will be 7 months old when we meet her. Needless to say, we are EXTREMELY excited and slowly checking things off of our "to do" list. Preparing for a trip to Africa involves many details. Thankfully, we have one administrator in the family (Duane) and one willing follower :).

2. We closed on our home loan and have begun the building process in West Circle! I will try to post occasional photos of the progress over the next few months. We know that another transition brings many unknowns and our new neighborhood will not be without it's challenges, but after a longer than expected waiting period we are more than ready to see and experience what God has planned for us there.

3. Our city was hit by a tornado that left a path of destruction you truly must see to believe. It will take Tuscaloosa years to recover from the storm that came through on April 27th, and many families will never recover due to the people that they lost. So many families lost EVERY material possession they owned. Thankfully, our God can create beauty from ashes, and He is doing that here. People are more aware than ever of the needs of their neighbors. Christ's love is being shown to people who may have never experienced it before.

Stay tuned. I will do my best to update often as we approach our trip, travel, and return! Internet service may or may not be adequate for blogging in Ethiopia, but if it is I would love for all of our friends and family to be able to be a part of our journey either on this blog or our adoption blog, www.oneprayerlater.blogspot.com.

Opening Day of Sandlot Baseball

2011-04-12T22:53:00.001-05:00

Spring Soccer!

2011-04-12T22:45:00.001-05:00

Blitz Build 2011

2011-04-12T22:35:00.001-05:00

2 years ago, shortly after we began our adoption journey, we decided to do a fundraiser called J1:27.

I blogged about it here. In most ways it ended up being horribly unsuccessful as a fundraiser, but the day we spent doing the fundraiser and the relationships that were built ended up being eternally significant in many other ways. Through that fundraiser we met Ms. Mattie.

We, along with many others, spent a day working on her house. To say that her house was dilapidated would be a gross understatement. That day we built a wheelchair ramp, did some cleaning inside, and cleaned up her yard a bit. But I remember stepping outside her house at one point in the day and just crying because I felt desperate and powerless to REALLY change her circumstances. She needed so much more than the few bandaids we were putting in place that day.

Well, if you know my husband at all, you know he doesn't do desperate and powerless.

Duane stayed in touch with Ms. Mattie and would send our college students to visit her regularly. I've referred to this verse often when talking about the orphan crisis and adoption, but it also applies to how we felt about Ms. Mattie and her living conditions:

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act."

Prov. 24:12

It took 2 years, but Duane finally came up with a plan to get Ms. Mattie out of her horrible living conditions. He decided to have a "Blitz Build" over spring break and have our college students build Ms. Mattie a house in one week! He quickly enlisted help. Our church and the community responded with willing hearts and hands.

It was a long, hard, fruitful week. There were nights that they worked around the clock. I say "they" because I didn't really get to be involved nearly as much as I would've liked since the kids and I were sick for the majority of the week :(.

On Saturday, Ms. Mattie came out to the site and saw the house for the first time.

Ms. Mattie is settled into her lovely new home. She's gonna be our neighbor when we move to West Circle. Her house will practically be in our backyard!

There's no way for me to list the people who helped, donated, led, fed, or contributed to this week. Because, while the Blitz Build may have been Duane's idea, it was the work of a community willing to be Christ to Ms. Mattie that made it possible. But since this is my blog :), I do reserve the right to say that my husband is an amazing man with an amazing heart.

Here's a video that was created to highlight the week!

Great Fundraiser for Kirill!!

2011-04-04T08:43:00.001-05:00

Bethany over at Our Perfectly Imperfect Life is hosting an awesome fundraiser for the Davis family to help pay for all of the extra expenses that have been adding up over the past few weeks. Every time you donate $10 your name is entered into a drawing for several great prizes, including a Canon Rebel XS!

Go check it out here:

http://thebalsisfamily.blogspot.com/2011/04/7-day-blitz-for-kirill.html

Update on Kirill

2011-03-24T18:14:00.002-05:00

Click here for an update on Kirill.

Please take the time to read, pray, and spread the word!!

Standing Firm - The Battle for Kirill

2011-03-23T00:09:00.001-05:00

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

Less than one week ago, our dear friends, Greg and Tesney Davis, were denied their request to adopt Kirill. A judge ruled it would be better for Kirill, a precious 4 year old little boy with Down Syndrome, to remain in an impoverished orphanage full of other children with special needs for the remainder of his life - in a country where children with special needs are discarded and viewed as unworthy of being a part of society. If you're like me, you don't even know what to do with that!

But our friends... they are strong in the Lord and in his mighty power! This adoption has been a year long battle. They have been assembling their armor piece, by piece, by heavy piece.

And the Enemy... he has been scheming since the day they said yes to giving Kirill a loving family.

And it just so happens that the authorities and rulers and powers of this dark world are working through the authorities and rulers and powers of Kirill's country. The day of evil came in a courtroom halfway around the world. But my friends... they were able to stand their ground. They had done EVERYTHING. And they stood. Heartbroken and devastated, they stood. And they praised. And they gave glory to God. They said that they would, no matter what. And they did... because they were prepared. The belt of truth was buckled around their waists long before they entered that courtroom. The truth that "God sets the lonely in families." The truth that God is "the helper of the fatherless." The truth that our Jesus is "one who in judging seeks justice and speeds the cause of righteousness." The truth that "God is faithful." I have watched my friends as this process has turned them inside out and head over heels in love with Jesus. Without that gospel of peace, they would not have been ready. They rejoice in their salvation and are clinging tightly to the sword of the Spirit.

But most incredibly, they have taken up the shield of faith. They are fighting for Kirill. They are filing an appeal to the Supreme Court of Kirill's country. They are hiring lawyers across the ocean. They've rallied thousands in prayer. And I am believing that every. flaming. arrow. of the evil one WILL be extinguished!!

Please stand with our friends in this battle through your fervent prayers on Kirill's behalf. This case is bigger than the Davis family and Kirill. It will set a precedent for other families hoping to bring home their precious children from the same region.

As Tesney said.... The FIGHT is ON!

How honored and blessed I am to call these people my friends and neighbors, my brother and sister. They are just broken, imperfect people desperately seeking to follow their Lord and walk the path that He has laid before them with courage and strength. And because of this, after they have done everything, they will stand.

beauty planting beauty

2011-03-13T22:57:00.001-05:00

Sophia and I have had an unusual amount of "girl time" lately. Saturday we had a girly lunch and then decided to plant some flowers to put on our porch. She loved every minute of it, and I loved every minute of watching how much she loved it :). What a gift she is.

selah's first care package

2011-03-12T22:04:00.005-06:00

Our friends, Tim and Anna, leave for Ethiopia in less than a week. They will be delivering this care package to our sweet Selah for us. This past week we were told that she had a fever and a cough. I hope she won't be needing this tylenol and chest rub, but when a mommy can't get to her sick baby she has to do whatever she can to feel like she's doing something! I already have another family who is going to take her a care package in April :). Please pray that we receive a court date soon and we can deliver our own goodies in May!

gonna love her like CRAZY

2011-03-10T15:32:00.002-06:00

I just finished uploading 8 photos of our family to send to Selah in the cute little photo album that I bought for her. Our friends, Tim and Anna, are taking her a care package for us in just a couple of weeks when they travel for their court date! They are adopting a precious little boy who is around the same age as Selah.

These are the photos I chose for the album:

Then I got to thinking.... These photos might not be a fair representation of what sweet Selah is getting herself into. Perhaps to be fair and to appropriately prepare her I should've chosen 8 of these:

Baby Selah - our table manners leave much to be desired, personal safety could be an issue, we often have attitude problems, and some of us are just downright lunatics. But one thing is for sure....

We are gonna love you like CRAZY!

tom cochrane was wrong on this one

2011-03-08T14:34:00.001-06:00

Tom sang "Life is a Highway". I would like to submit that life is actually a ROLLER COASTER.

Friday we got the call we have been waiting for. The voice on the other end of the phone told us that we have a little girl. A beautiful, brown skinned and wide eyed baby girl. And when I say she's beautiful... it is only for lack of a word that could actually do her justice :). I am in love. She is smiling at me in her picture. I just know it. It was a great feeling to see her face after the months and months of paperwork and fundraising and waiting and praying.

(Enter roller coaster hill # 497)

The bliss lasted for about 24 hours, maybe less. By Saturday we were hearing that the Ministry of Women in Ethiopia was making plans to reduce the number of intercountry adoptions by 90%, effective March 10th. What this would likely mean for us is that we would still travel to Ethiopia and meet Selah in a couple of months for our court date, but our chances of passing court would be slim to none. In order to pass court, you must have a recommendation letter from the Ministry of Women. They have been writing around 50 of those a day. They say they will now be writing 5 per day.

According to our coordinator, the courts in Ethiopia are still very pro-adoption and will continue to put pressure on the MOWA to reverse this decision. Please friends, family, strangers.... please pray.

I am holding on to these verses from Psalm 112:

Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,

who conduct their affairs with justice.

Surely the righteous will never be shaken;

they will be remembered forever.

They will have no fear of bad news;

their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.

They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
their righteousness endures forever

Our God has faithfully brought us this far. He rescued our little girl, who was found abandoned. She is in a place where she is well cared for and more importantly she is in the hands of God. So for now, we give Him thanks and eagerly wait to see the next step of His mysterious plan.

My Favorite Subject

2011-03-03T23:03:00.001-06:00

New pics of Sophia over here.... Picture This

Great blog by Tracy Wages!

2011-02-24T23:42:00.001-06:00

Click here to read Tracy's blog!

Tis the season

2011-02-24T14:45:00.008-06:00

"It's ok. This is just the season of life that you're in."

Every mother of young children has heard it. It comes from friends, family members, encouraging older ladies who've been exactly where we are and survived it! I've said it to myself and to others. There is some wisdom in it. And for years I took great comfort in that simple phrase. But....

A couple of years ago I was in a conversation with a dear friend. I'll never forget it. We were sitting in my car talking and I was explaining to her this feeling of restlessness that I couldn't shake. I felt like there was something else I was supposed to be doing. Something more. I couldn't put my finger on it, but whatever it was, I was pretty sure it didn't jive with my ever comforting "just the season of life you're in" mentality. See, I had used that phrase to justify my tendency to ignore everything that didn't have to do with my little family. I thought that surely God nor man could expect me to do one more thing! Because, see, I have these 3 kids. I teach them at home. I feed them 3 meals a day. I clean up after 3 meals a day. I discipline them. I do their laundry. I wipe their bottoms. I potty train them. I bathe them. I kiss their boo boos. I clean the toilets (which is no small task when you're potty training them) and mop the floors. I do the grocery shopping and the soccer shuttling. We seem to move like every two weeks. I have a husband to think about. An awesome husband who does campus ministry, is working on his Masters, and doesn't know how to not be involved in 10 projects at one time :). What else could you expect of me in "this season"? Then, sitting there in my car, I was hit with this question - "But for what?"

Let me just stop right here and say I am not suggesting that any of the activities I mentioned are anything less than valuable, necessary, consuming, indispensible acts of love. But the question I began to wrestle with that night was about FRUIT. I saw the next 200 years flash before my eyes and this is what I saw. I saw my kids growing up, having children, and doing a great job loving and taking care of those children. Then I saw my grandchildren growing up, having children, and doing a great job taking care of those children. Then I saw my great-grandchildren growing up, having children, and doing a great job taking care of those children. Awesome, right? But for what? Because while I do want that to be a part of my legacy, I couldn't see anyway that it was going to make the world a better place. I didn't really see that Christ was going to be magnified through my legacy if that was to be the whole of it.

I began to ask myself how my children would grow up to be radical, compassionate, Christ following world changers if I waited until they were grown and gone to start radically following him myself? And wasn't that my greatest desire for them? To be Christ followers who had a radical impact on the world around them? Greater than my desire for them to be well educated, well dressed, well fed, well churched people living in a orderly home and successfully reproducing that very thing in their own adult lives?

Needless to say, this answer in the form of more questions did nothing to cure my restlessness. It only magnified it. I was now urgently determined to figure out what more God was calling me to. This was no small task considering the reality of my "season" of life had not changed. But while the season had not changed, the question had. God was urging me to stop asking the hopeless question, "What in the world can I do while in this season of life?" and begin asking the life changing question, "What can I do for the world while in this season of life?" I knew that whatever I did, it would have to include my 3 little ducklings. I knew that Duane felt confident in his calling to Campus Ministry, so we weren't relocating to Africa just yet. I had the responsibilty of teaching my kids on a daily basis. Going to the grocery felt like climbing Mt. Everest. Many days I never even made it out of my pajamas.

So, what's a MOM to do? It was a tough question....with such a simple answer.

God said....You be a mom. You be a mom not only to the three children I graciously gave you through birth, but you also step out and be a mom to the child who was abandoned by his frightened mother and will never have a family if you don't share yours. That's My child, and that's something you can do in this season. You can fix one more lunch. You can wipe one more bottom. You can kiss one more child's boo boos. And you can do it all while still in your pajamas. And you know that stable, loving, Christ centered family I've blessed you with? Would you consider leaving your big, safe house on the cul-de-sac to plant that family in a place where you can bring stability and Christ to people who desperately need both? It won't be easy, but it is something you can do in this season of life. Yes, raise these children I've placed in your care. Do it well. But don't wait until they're grown to begin truly following Me. Find a way to "look after orphans and widows" right now. Find a way to "proclaim good news to the poor" right now. Show them how to store up their treasure in heaven, not on earth. Let them see you feeding the poor, giving a drink to the thirsty, inviting in the stranger, clothing the naked, caring for the sick and visiting the imprisoned. You will teach them to care for the least of these.... by caring for the least of these. You want them to be Christ followers? Show them what it means to follow Him. Show them now that the path of Christ is rarely the path of ease. You want them to be radical world changers? Get radical and start changing the world while they're watching. And when you think you just can't do one. more. thing..... remember that If I call you to it, I will equip you for it.

Yes, Ecclesiastes 3:1 says that "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." Yes, there are a great deal of things that I simply cannot do in this season of life. But may I never forget that following Christ is not a seasonal activity. He would never place me in a "season" that rendered me incapable of bringing glory to Him through my life.

This is the season of life that I'm in - the season where every step that I take to follow Him is multiplied by 3, soon to be 4, times. If ever my faith needs to be lived out radically.... it's right now. They are watching. They are learning. It's just the season of life that I'm in.

Words I'm Thinking About Today...

2011-02-21T16:42:00.003-06:00

"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence of the good people.................Was Jesus not an extremist for love: 'Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you.'............. So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists will we be? Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice? In that dramatic scene on Calvary's hill three men were crucified. We must never forget that all three were crucified for the same crime - the crime of extremism. Two were extremists for immorality, and thus fell below their environment. The other, Jesus Christ, was an extremist for love, truth, and goodness, and thereby rose above his environment. Perhaps the South, the nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists.............. all too many others have been more cautious than courageous and have remained silent behind the anesthetizing security of stained-glass windows............... The contemporary church is a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. So often it is an archdefender of the status quo. Far from being disturbed by the presence of the church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the church's silent and often even vocal sanction of things as they are. But the judgement of God is upon the church as never before. If today's church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century. Every day I meet young people whose disappointment with the church has turned into outright disgust."

~Martin Luther King Jr.

life is not an emergency

2011-01-31T11:58:00.008-06:00

The cardboard brown Amazon box finally arrives. The book I have long anticipated. I began following Ann Voskamp's blog over a year ago. I daily find myself drawn to her words and her photos and her life and her wisdom. Wisdom and words that are no doubt God's gift through her. One Thousand Gifts is the name of her newly released book. On the cover are these words - A DARE TO LIVE FULLY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. And maybe that's why I am drawn to her words and her wisdom. Because I sense this full living in her and it feels so far out of reach for me.

Ann's book is largely about gratitude. In the small things. In the hard things. In EVERYTHING. A life lived in thankfulness, counting God's every blessing, even when they feel "like gravel in the mouth".  A thankful life is the grand idea of the book. But tucked away in it's pages is a lesser theme, and it is the one that strikes hard today. It's an idea that I know I must grab hold of if I hope to ever fully live. I must grab hold of this if I should live a life of gratitude. It is the rarely grasped by Americans truth that "life is not an emergency." But oh how I live as if it is. Hurry up and finish breakfast so we can start on school. Hurry up and finish school so we can feel as if we've accomplished our task. Hurry up with dinner so we can clean up and have the mess behind us. Hurry up and brush your teeth so you can get in bed. Hurry to church. Hurry to ball practice. Hurry from here to there and get it all done so I don't disappoint anyone. So I can feel a sense of accomplishment and worth.  As if life is an emergency.

Evelyn Underhill said, "On every level of life, from housework to heights of prayer, in all judgement and efforts to get things done, hurry and impatience are sure marks of the amateur."

Yep, that's me. A sure amateur.

So this is today's fervent prayer:

“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered - how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath. We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Rescue me from my rebellion." Psalm 39

Because isn't that what all of this rushing about amounts to? Rebellion? When I'm rushing about to accomplish much and appear worthy, is my only hope truly in HIM? And how disheartening to think that all my busy rushing might end in nothing as the psalmist says! But isn't it possible? Couldn't it end in nothing?  Because the only thing that is anything is God's glory. And how often is He glorified in my rush and hurry? My kids could testify that it's not often.

Life is not an emergency.  But what does this newly discovered truth change? Because there are still dishes to be done and food to be bought and meals to be prepared and laundry to be washed and lessons to be taught. There are places to be and friends to help and appointments to keep and houses to build and books to read. There are bills to pay and pictures to take and babies in Africa that need mommies and fatherless children all around me. This is reality. And many of these things are truly urgent. Sure the dishes can wait. But not those babies in Africa and these fatherless children in my backyard. And I want to be sure that in my prayerful attempt to not treat life as an emergency I do not lose my sense of urgency for the things that are the heart of God. But surely this truth, this desire to be rescued from my rebellion and put my hope in the Lord, surely it changes something. I can only hope it changes my thoughts, my facial expressions, my words, and my voice. If life is not an emergency, I want to stop communicating to the world that it is with my life. I want to slow down and have a long conversation with a friend. I want to slow down and hold my babies before they aren't babies anymore. I want to slow down and listen to my oldest before he just chooses to stop talking. I want to slow down and hug my husband rather than passing him in the hall on my way to the next task.  I want to slow down and see the things that God has given me eyes to see, but I've been in too big of a hurry to look at. That's all. I just want to slow down and live.

There are situations all over the world that are rightfully declared emergencies. I pray for God to "break my heart for what breaks His." But this life He's given me, this day he's given me....it's not an emergency. Today is not an emergency. And I don't want to do life like an amateur for one more day.

Mighty to Save!

2011-01-22T22:25:00.002-06:00

These are pictures of our precious friends, Greg and Tesney, holding their little boy when they met him for the first time in his orphanage. His name is Kirill. He's 4 years old. These pictures were taken many months ago. Too many months ago considering Greg and Tesney have not been given permission to travel back to his country and bring him home. The judge that is responsible for hearing and approving Kirill's case just can't understand why Greg and Tesney would CHOOSE to adopt a child with Down Syndrome. In his country, these children are placed in orphanages which are built out in the middle of nowhere for the sole purpose of keeping them out of people's sight. This makes the judge very suspicious of our friend's motives. If only she could grasp that they have but one motive - a deep desire and call to love and be Christ to this precious little boy. They are passionate about these children. They are especially passionate about this one. And they just want to bring him home.

Tuesday night while we are sleeping in our cozy beds, this judge will be deciding whether or not to trust that Greg and Tesney have Kirill's best interest at heart. She will be deciding whether or not he will grow up in a loving family or spend the rest of his days in an institution. And what she decides will have a long reaching impact on other families who are committed to rescuing these children.

I've watched my sweet friend weep so many times because her arms ache to hold her little boy. They have walked through fire and jumped through hoops - anything to bring him home.

I know this one thing - The judge who has made this process so very difficult for my friends is no match for the God I serve. In fact, He created her. He loves her. And my prayer is that He will open the eyes of her heart. The heart that He allows to keep beating. I am praying that she will see clearly for the first time that my friends are overflowing with the love of Christ and that is the ONLY reason that they are ready to jump on a plane at a moments notice and welcome this precious one into their family.

Kirill is need of rescue. Seriously. Desperately. And our God is mighty to save. Will you PLEASE pray and fast for our friends over the next few days, especially Tuesday.

Thank you!!!

"You'll Be Alright"

2011-01-18T22:10:00.001-06:00

We just returned from our yearly trip to Panama City where Duane helps to organize Gulf Coast Getaway, a weekend for college students to come together, worship, learn, and give. It was a great weekend, but as always, a bit hectic - especially with 3 kids. We left on Wednesday morning so that Duane could arrive early and prepare for the students to arrive on Friday night. Without reliving each painful memory, let me just say that by Friday at lunch I very seriously considered packing my kids up and bringing them home. They were just being awful. AWFUL. All of them. And I decided we could do awful at home, as we often do. No need to be at the beach! I was going for shock effect. But, Duane talked me down and reminded me that that our babysitters, 2 sweet girls from our youth group, would be arriving in just a few hours!

Backing up just a bit...
God has been doing some serious work on my mom heart lately. Over the past month or so, He has really been delivering me from much of the guilt and feelings of inadequacy I tend to heap on myself as a mom. He has given me peace in moments that would have previously brought me to tears. He has given me grace in moments that would have previously ended in shouting. He has given me joy in situations that would have previously left me with feelings of despair. And I am so thankful!

I tell you all of this so that you can understand the significance of the story I want to share. On our way home yesterday, the kids were once again being, well.....awful. At one point, Micah was being particularly cantankerous and chose to speak to Duane in a very disrespectful way. I was driving at the time and I had just heard enough! So, I quietly pulled the car over to a shopping center we happened to be passing. I pulled into the parking lot and told Micah to get out of the car. I ended up having to personally remove him from the car. I held his hand and led him to a grassy area surrounding the parking lot and told him to sit down. I explained to him that the car he was riding around in was not his car. I gently reminded him that it was my car, purchased with money that daddy worked hard for, and it's purpose was that it was to be used in a way that honored God. I explained that he would not speak to his daddy like that in my car. I reminded him that it did not honor God and it did not honor his daddy. I reminded him that riding in my car was a privilege he need not take lightly. And then I walked back to the car so that he could be alone and "think about it." Two seconds after I shut my car door, an older lady pulled up beside our car and rolled down her window. I was thinking, "This can't look good." I got out and she said, "Is he o.k.?" I replied with a calm smile, "Yes ma'am, he just needed some time alone to think about how he should use his mouth in our car." I really don't think I appeared to be rattled. She was so sweet and we had a very brief conversation about how she understood and that she was a grandmother and how I was doing the right thing. All of that was very encouraging coming from a stranger. But then, as she was already pulling away, she turned her head back and looked straight into my eyes and quietly said, "You'll be alright." And it stunned me for a second. And I can't help but feel that God used her to speak those 3 simple words into my life at that moment. He's been getting the message to me in many different ways over the last few weeks and I've been trying to communicate to others what He's been doing in my heart, but I can never seem to find the right words. In is goodness, I really feel like he wanted me to hear it spoken, simply. Because, I will fail. Often. And I will fight selfishness and frustration and impatience. And being a mom is stinkin' hard. It just is. But.... I'll be alright. He surrounds me on all sides and His strength is made perfect in my weakness... so I'll be alright.

The Dump

2011-01-18T15:55:00.002-06:00

Spoiler Alert -

This video will, or should, spoil the pleasure that we take in living our lives surrounded by extreme comfort and excess. I know, you can't wait to watch it, right?!

Yes, it is a long video.

Slightly longer than "The Office".

Can you give these people 38 minutes of your time today?

(be sure to scroll down and turn the music off at the bottom of the page)

THE DUMP from Andy Hubright on Vimeo.

Duane and I were able to spend some time with Marc, one of the gentlemen interviewed on the video, this weekend. He lives in Honduras and is doing all he can to be Christ to the people in the dump. What you've seen here is reality for too many people - many of them small children. If anyone feels compelled to help in any way, we would be happy to put you in touch with Marc. Please pray for the work that they are doing to restore dignity to these children of God.