Thursday, January 28, 2010

Keeping it Real

For some reason people assume that I'm organized...
People say that I must be organized if I homeschool my children.

and because I try to clean my house right before people come over, they may assume that my house is always clean, but...

and some people think that I only feed my kids organic food and they tend to apologize when they are offering something that's not so healthy...

but the TRUTH is:
I want to be organized. And I wish my house was always clean. And I would love to have the time, money, energy, and co-operation from my kids to feed them healthy every day. But I'm weak :). I give in to their requests for Froot Loops and such. And I can't seem to keep up with the laundry and the dishes. And I'm constantly cleaning things out and trying to organize things, but somehow I never get there.

I started to post some pics of my kids and say, "...and some people think my kids are well behaved and well mannered", but then I had to face reality. I don't think I have anyone fooled on that one :).

Confession: Some days I panic just a little bit. I think about the fact that I am adopting a 4th child! And this child could very likely have some special needs that I have never dealt with before. I will soon be homeschooling 4 children. I am currently homeschooling one and barely managing to do it well. I will be feeding 4 children Froot Loops because I will have even less time and energy to come up with healthy meals. The laundry and dishes will pile up a little bit higher. More discipline required. More love required. More energy required. More boo boo's to kiss. More sleepless nights. More diapers! More potty training :(. More siblings to fight with. More extra curricular activities to get to. More money. More time. More patience. More....selflessness.

...and the Enemy likes to whisper to me "are you sure you are capable of this? Are you sure you have this in you?" which I have slowly learned to reply, "No. I am not. There's no way I am capable of this. And no. I do not have this in me. But my Father is so very capable of doing this through me and in me!"

God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed. 2 Corinthians 9:8

And when I see images like these..

...I am humbly reminded that these children aren't desperately hoping for an organized, spotless, organic home to live in. They are desperately hoping for love. I have that. A warm, dry bed. I have several of those. Clothing. I have so much it disgusts me. Food. My cabinets are busting at the seams and my refrigerator is dangerously full. A family. I've taken mine for granted too many times.

So, I hope nobody thinks that I have decided to do this adoption thing because I have everything else under control and I'm ready to tackle the next challenge. It's never been my intention to lead anybody to that conclusion, but I think sometimes I might do it by accident. The truth is, I have no idea how this is gonna look or how I'm going to manage it all. I just know I'm gonna do it, because He asked me to.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

Bring on the Froot Loops.


Sarah said...

I love this post. I so identify. I tend to be quite conscientious about showing my "best" side on my blog (and to my friends and family). i realize sometimes that it may seem like I have it way more together than I really do. But guess what? My house looks a whole lot like yours! And I was eating cookies as I sat down to read blogs. I think we can be way more of an encouragement to others when we don't try so hard to seem perfect. Thanks for keeping it real!

Stephanie said...

Yey for real life!

I've heard from some of my friends' mothers (of big families) that it gets easier after the third. Maybe because your older ones are getting older to help, or maybe because... well I have no idea. But that's what I've heard, and since we're planning on having/adopting many children, I take this (and your post) as encouragement in advance! :)

Logan and Lindsey said...

mmm, so real. so refreshing. It's all about love.

Thanks for sharing your heart, Jenny.

Laura said...

Very encouraging!!! Cause thats pretty much what my apartment looks like most of the time.