just when you're sure they're not hearing you

Earlier this week some maintenance workers at our apartment were attempting to dig up some bushes with a large piece of equipment.  Why they didn't just use shovels, I have no idea.  Anyway.... 10 minutes into their job they hit a water line that sent water gushing from the ground for hours.  We lost our water for a few hours and the boys were watching the whole thing go down as if it were playing on an IMAX screen.

As they stood on our porch, watching what they knew to be clean water flowing out into the street, they both had the same surprising reaction.  "Mom!  They're wasting all that water!  People in Africa need clean water and all that water is just going into the street!"  I quickly explained that what happened was an accident and that they were doing their best to stop the water and that they weren't intentionally wasting water.  

But deep down my heart was bursting with joy.  See, sometimes I feel like a clanging cymbal or a broken record.  I'm constantly hearing things like, "We don't have ANYTHING good to eat." or "Can't we have something besides WATER to drink?".  And I am constantly reminding my children how others live, how thankful we should be, and how we are responsible for helping those who are suffering in ways we could never imagine.  And I usually feel like my children are listening and saying to themselves, "Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Yada, yada, yada."  But now I know.  They're listening.  

3 down 3 to go

All 6 Dixons celebrate their birthdays in September and October.  Noah, Micah, and I all turned a year older last month and Duane, Sophia, and Selah are up next!  Here a few more pictures from the boys celebrations:

Every year when I ask Micah what he wants to do for his birthday he says he just wants to go play at the park.  That is Micah.  So, on his actual birthday we went out for Mexican food, picked up a few GiGi's cupcakes and headed to the park!

big brother cole

big sister hannah

a serious game of football!

On the Friday night between the boy's birthdays (they are exactly one week apart), we had a movie night to raise money for the famine in the horn of Africa.  The boys agreed to do this instead of having people bring gifts.  The kids ate too much candy and flavored popcorn while the adults watched football and chatted.  They raised almost $150 dollars and when donated through World Vision it will be multiplied 5 times!

Then, finally, on Noah's actual birthday he requested to stay home and eat his favorite dinner have a cake made by mom :).  It was rainy day, so that worked out just fine!  It's hard to believe that my boys are 11 and 6!  

noah and micah's tennessee birthday

please don't let the word get back to Andy Boykin that they asked for a baseball cake!

my sweet sister and baby wyatt

cousins and the best of friends

silly me forgot to hire the birthday backhoe driver.  thankfully uncle brian had one on the back of his truck.  whew. 

orange moustaches all around!

right after this picture, micah hit a ball into the second story gutter of mom and dad's house.

ok, i know this is totally disgusting but i just can't help it.  it was the hardest i had laughed in a while and for some strange reason i want to remember it.  sorry sister.

i got it!  i got it!

because I asked the Lord for him

She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the LORD for him.”  - 1 Samuel 1:20

Today, in the midst of the squabbles and messes and incessant whining, I stole away to find a moment alone.  As soon as that moment was found, I instantly dropped to my knees and let the tears flow.   But, despite what you may be thinking, these weren't the usual tears of a frustrated mom at the end of her rope.  These were the tears of a mother who was suddenly and unexpectedly overcome with gratitude and completely humbled by the faithfulness and love of her God.  They were the tears of a mother who had been given a miracle 6 years ago today.  Today, I found myself on my face before the Lord - because that's the only place to go to praise Him for lifting the head of this face-to-the ground woman from 7 years ago.  

They call it "secondary infertility".  And while I KNOW that it can't be as heart wrenching as complete infertility, it was by far the most difficult 2 years of my life.  I know that sounds dramatic and it doesn't really even make sense to me now, but all I can say is that when a mother's arms ache for another child and that child does not come, it can shake her to the very core.  

We saw the "experts".  They told us that it was a miracle we even had one child.  I suffered from polycystic ovarian syndrome.  That combined with other issues caused the "experts" to advise us that without intervention it was highly unlikely that we would ever conceive another child.  I was devastated.  Yet, I walked out of our appointment with the experts with an inexplicable peace that fertility treatments would not be the route for us and with a quiet voice whispering in my head that they weren't really the experts.  Duane and I didn't even have to hash it out.  We agreed that it was a fine option, just not for us.  My uber practical self said that if I was going to spend $10,000, it would be toward adoption expenses.  And if I'm being honest, I knew that I could never handle the ups and downs and disappointments of fertility treatment with it's less than favorable odds.  So I contacted every adoption agency under the sun and poured over each package that came in the mail. I prayed and read and googled and I never could feel led down a specific adoption path.  In the meantime, I finally found myself in a place where I could honestly say to God, "If carrying another child is not what you grant me, then you must have something so much better in mind for me.  And I want what YOU want more than I want what I want."  Of course I still hoped that God's answer was wait, rather than no.  So many prayers were lifted up on our behalf.  So many gathered around us and covered us with their loving hands and prayed that we would be blessed with another child.  

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. 

- Isaiah 58

6 years ago today God placed in my life a daily reminder of His faithfulness.  A daily reminder of His sovereignty.  A daily reminder of His perfect time.  And yes, a daily reminder of His sense of humor.  There have been days that I needed to be able to remind myself that I laid on my face and prayed for this child :).  

2 years later we welcomed Sophia to the family.  So much for the experts.  And through it all, God turned our hearts toward adoption - enter Selah.  

Today, I am thanking Him for this spunky, funny, mischievous, handsome, bright, stubborn, explosive, hard working, tight hugging little boy. Today, I am thanking Him for this precious face.  

And there's really no better place for me to do that than on mine.  

Happy Birthday Micah Samuel Dixon!

our first pinterest inspired project :)

Play Dough!

Our recipe came from here!